The Wan King Monkey Construction Co., Ltd.
Science news (from a small-business entrepreneur talking to the Wisconsin entrepreneurs Conference):
Near his conclusion, Steven Little told the story of the orb weaver spider and the dwarf goat of Nigeria. Scientists took a gene from the spider that allows it to make the strongest silk fiber in the world and implanted it in the goat. From the milk substance, a prototype vest was made that is stronger than anything on the market.
“My 15-year-old son told me about that,” he said. "My only response was 'Wow.' The world is changing, and you can grow with it."
My only response was: what's in it for the goat? and who needs such a vest?
But such genetic modifications are indeed remarkable. Only last week, Hong Kong Devil chanced upon the story of the Wan King Monkey Construction Company Ltd, based in a small town in Shaanxi Province.
Scientists found, by extracting the genes from the Great Sticky Spider of the aboriginal plains of Australia, and implanting them in a common monkey, the monkey's jizz becomes the strongest setting substance known to man - so much so, in fact, that construction companies such as Wan King Monkey are using genetically modified monkeys to scramble around their building sites and masturbate onto the joints of the bamboo scaffolding, saving many days of manual tying of the joints.
"We just dangle a female monkey from a crane above where we want the scaffolding to go," says the foreman of Shaanxi Crane company, which is in charge of the project.
"During the night, the monkeys pretty much do all of the work, and the scaffolding is complete," added the foreman of Shaanxi Scaffolding company, which is in charge of the project. "There's usually great teamwork from the monkeys in erecting the bamboo to reach the female. Of course we just keep winching her higher."
Wan King Monkey, which is in charge of the project, said the genetically modified monkeys were in no way harmed during the experiments or scaffolding procedure.
"Yes it's true, many of them seem to have their hands stuck to their dicks," said an official.
"But we don't know yet if they're actually stuck, or if they just like walking around like that."
Near his conclusion, Steven Little told the story of the orb weaver spider and the dwarf goat of Nigeria. Scientists took a gene from the spider that allows it to make the strongest silk fiber in the world and implanted it in the goat. From the milk substance, a prototype vest was made that is stronger than anything on the market.
“My 15-year-old son told me about that,” he said. "My only response was 'Wow.' The world is changing, and you can grow with it."
My only response was: what's in it for the goat? and who needs such a vest?
But such genetic modifications are indeed remarkable. Only last week, Hong Kong Devil chanced upon the story of the Wan King Monkey Construction Company Ltd, based in a small town in Shaanxi Province.
Scientists found, by extracting the genes from the Great Sticky Spider of the aboriginal plains of Australia, and implanting them in a common monkey, the monkey's jizz becomes the strongest setting substance known to man - so much so, in fact, that construction companies such as Wan King Monkey are using genetically modified monkeys to scramble around their building sites and masturbate onto the joints of the bamboo scaffolding, saving many days of manual tying of the joints.
"We just dangle a female monkey from a crane above where we want the scaffolding to go," says the foreman of Shaanxi Crane company, which is in charge of the project.
"During the night, the monkeys pretty much do all of the work, and the scaffolding is complete," added the foreman of Shaanxi Scaffolding company, which is in charge of the project. "There's usually great teamwork from the monkeys in erecting the bamboo to reach the female. Of course we just keep winching her higher."
Wan King Monkey, which is in charge of the project, said the genetically modified monkeys were in no way harmed during the experiments or scaffolding procedure.
"Yes it's true, many of them seem to have their hands stuck to their dicks," said an official.
"But we don't know yet if they're actually stuck, or if they just like walking around like that."
posted by Hong Kong Devil at
1:22 pm
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